If You ca11 Him a Saint

There were two brothers, well known around town for their crooked business dealings and underworld connections. They were as mean and cold-blooded as you could imagine. One day one of the brothers died, and the surviving brother wanted .to give his dead brother a funeral fit for a king.

He called the funeral home and made all the arrangements, then he called the town’s minister and made him an offer, as they say, he couldn’t refuse. He said, “I will give you $10,000 to put that new roof on the church if, in eulogizing my brother, you call him a saint.” The minister agreed. The whole town turned out for the funeral, and the minister began: “The man you see in the coffin was a vile and debauched individual.

He was a liar, a thief, a deceiver, a manipulator, a reprobate, and a hedonist. He destroyed the fortunes, careers, and lives of countless people in this city, some of whom are here today. This man did every dirty, rotten thing you can think of But compared to his brother here, he was a saint.”