Shrinking a Mountain

If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. —Matthew 17:20 hen I was diagnosed with cancer my mom gave me a necklace that held a tear-shaped piece of glass encasing a single tiny mustard seed. “Remember,” she said, as I pulled the necklace out of the box, “this is all the faith you need.

God will get you through this.” I put the necklace on, and during my three months of chemo- therapy and radiation I rarely took it off. But it made me wonder—what measure do we use for faith?

How do we know how much we have? Is it something we are born with? And if so, are we limited to that amount or can we attain more? Is it something we must produce ourselves?

There were days during my treatment when I felt that tiny mustard seed rep- resented a colossal and unattainable amount of faith. 80 LIVING YOUR FAITH 81 Ravaged by the chemicals pumped into me each week and the daily radiation treatments, I barely had the strength to stand at times. If I was to be responsible for the production and maintenance of my own faith, then surely I was doomed to fail.

The mountain would remain ... unmovable. How I wished for the faith I’d seen in others, friends and family members who had suffered tragedies but held fast to God’s promises with unwavering belief in His plans for them.

My aunt, in particular, had dealt with innumerable health problems for years, but her faithful and obedient heart never faltered. During peri- ods of severe headaches and other daily health strug- gles, she continued to focus on following God’s will. She was always ready with prayer for someone in need, her eyes shining with the knowledge that God would answer perfectly. She exemplified all I yearned to be during my illness.

One day I found myself on the floor, overcome with a wave of depression. The cancer treatments had taken their toll on my body and mind, and I hit a point of desperation. The light at the end of the tunnel, the day I would be declared cancer-free, seemed eons away. The journey was too far, and I no longer had the strength to believe I would make it.

And then I read the apostles’ request to Jesus in Luke 17:5, “Increase our faith!” I realized that was what I 82 FOR THE LOVE OF GOD needed to finish traveling the long and painful road ahead of me—more faith. But where was I to get it?

My supply had run dry and I was too weak to produce more on my own. I needed to see my aunt’s faith-filled eyes again, and the face that shone with confidence in an ever-present God. But my aunt lived hours away.

With my last ounce of strength I began to pray, reiterat- ing the plea of the apostles. Dear God, please give me faith. You created me, You can add to me. I need that now, more than anything.

Please... add to my faith .. . increase my faith. With my face pressed against the carpet, and the words barely out of my mouth, I heard the phone ring. I wiped my tear-streaked cheeks as I sat up, and then shakily stood.

I reached out and picked up the phone. “Hello,” I answered. The voice of an angel answered, “Hi, sweetie, this is Aunt B. Are you going to be home for a little while?

I’m in town right now and was hoping to stop by.” Suddenly, a mustard seed no longer seemed the size of a mountain.