Dating and Marshmallows

An article in the Time Magazine left this indelible image in my mind: A little child sitting alone in a room, staring at a marshmallow. This strange picture captures the feelings I sometimes have in my struggle to trust God to take care of my future marital status.”

The article’s subject was unrelated to dating—and marshmallow, too, for that matter. It was about research done with children. The first few paragraphs went this way:

It turns out that a scientist can see the future by watching four-year-olds interact with a marshmallow. The researcher invites the children, one by one, into a plain room and begins the gentle torment. ‘You can have this marshmallow right now,’ he says. ‘But if you wait while I run an errand, you can have two marshmallows when I get back.’ And then he leaves.

Some children grab the treat the minute he’s out the door. Some last a few minutes before they give in. But others are determined to wait. They cover their eyes; they put their heads down; they sing to themselves; they try to play games or even fall asleep. When the researcher returns, he gives these children hard-earned marshmallow. And then, science waits for them to grow up.

By the time the children reach high school, something remarkable has happened. A survey of the children’s parents and teachers found that those who as four-year-olds had the fortitude to hold out for the second marshmallow generally grew up to be better adjusted, more popular, adventurous, confident, and dependable teenagers. The children who gave in to temptation early on were more likely to be lonely, easily frustrated and stubborn. They buckled under stress and shied away from challenges.” – Joshua Harris, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, (Multnomah Publishers, Inc., Sisters, OR) pg. 81-82.